Archive for May, 2003
I think I’m addicted to Indian food. It’s not like I’m shooting it directly into my veins or anything, but the need for vindaloo strikes me at odd times and I can only describe it as “Jonesin’”… however since we’re talking about curry, perhaps I should say I’m “Gandhin’”. It’s 11:30 at night and right now I’m eating what could only be described as the Indian-food version of the Hungry-Man frozen dinner. Palak Paneer with some kind of wannabe rice. But it’s not half-bad and it’s definitely got the flavor, so I am sated for now. Of course, I’m missing nan. The bread, not the girl. I’m not sure I can buy frozen nan at the Food Lion, so I should just be happy with what I have.
The fact is, I should be in bed right now. Sleeping. But earlier today I started thinking about Indian food again. And once I start thinking about Indian food, well, I just can’t stop. Fortunately, it was time for a trip to the supermarket anyway, so I debated whether or not I should try to make some of my own Indian cuisine… maybe a little lamb curry… but thanks to the good folks at Ethnic Gourmet Foods, Inc. I picked up a few frozen entrees to tide me over. Then I went home and made some hamburgers on my George Foreman grill. Because I’m funny like that.
But then, I just had the urge… and I’ve learned that once the urge strikes, you should just give in. So, I just had a delicious nighttime snack of palak paneer from the convenience of my own microwave. Thank God for 2003.
Acknowledgement!! This just in from our proposed patron …
Thank you very much for sharing your suggestions with us. The
communication we receive from our community members is critical and,
although we are not able to personally respond to your message, we
appreciate the time it took to write us.Our product development team is working to read, discuss, and process
the input that we get from our members. We are currently going through
many changes as we learn more about the emerging phenomenon known as
eBay, and we are engaging in projects to improve and expand our service
(As well as to address the incredible variety of entirely new issues
that are coming up every day). Ideas, constructive criticism and other
input from people who can see eBay from different perspectives are
extremely valuable.However, there is one formality we would like to clarify. In order to
avoid any possible misunderstanding, we must advise you that any
comments or materials you have submitted or may submit to us, including
questions, technical or creative suggestions or ideas, are considered to
be non-confidential and non-proprietary.Because we are trying our best to handle each of the suggestions that
come into the suggestion box with care, this isn’t the best place to
reach eBay for support if there is a problem that you need to have
addressed quickly. The general customer support teams are working around
the clock to help our members by answering questions, providing
assistance, and doing anything else they can do to help. For any
general questions, or if you need help with your activities on eBay, you
can write directly to a Support Representative by accessing the webform
located here:http://pages.ebay.com/help/basics/select-support.html
Please be sure to select a topic other than those listed under
suggestions. A Customer Support Representative will be in touch with
you within 24 hours in most cases.For news and information regarding new developments and changes to eBay,
you can access the Announcement Board here:http://www2.ebay.com/aw/announce.shtml
Again, thank you for taking the time to help us learn more about what
you want and need from our service.
ah, so it’s an automated reply… and a not too promising one at that. I’m beginning to wonder if indeed I can trust them to take this idea seriously and not scalp it for their own use and cut me out of the deal. Can eBay be trusted to cater to the fragile ego of a self-proclaimed creative sensation? It seems it is too early to tell. This first reply doesn’t seem to bode well for the success of my quest. I need to quickly move on to phase two of the plan — though I’m not quite sure what that is exactly. I will hope that someone in the customer service department will at least get enough of a chuckle out of this to decide to circulate it around the office. Meanwhile, I’m working on getting direct contact information to start the next leg of my letter writing campaign.
Many of my friends and visitors have asked “firecracker… this seems a bit lofty, aren’t you afraid of being disappointed? what are you going to do if eBay rejects or ignores your proposal?” Well, those are valid questions, but I haven’t taken on this challenge without taking into consideration all of the possible outcomes (well, except for the one outcome where they decide to sue me and I really haven’t thought about that one too much.) I am fully prepared to understand that eBay may just not be ready for this new frontier in eLaureate history. However, I will not give up easily and I will do my best to make my case to them. Beyond that, while eBay seems to be the right choice for this idea at the moment, I’m not ruling out approaching other dot-coms or organizations with my inquiry and I do have a few in mind that I think could benefit from having a Poet Laureate to represent them. (represent!)
So… I press on, and as always, I will keep you informed of the latest developments in the quest to become Poet Laureate of eBay (or something). In the meantime, please be sure to post your comments, words of support and advice.
I have not let my better judgment or lack of motivation sway me from the first step in attaining my goal… To keep you an active part of this process, I present the initial inquiry I’ve composed and sent to eBay.com:
Dear Sir or Madam-
Being a long-time eBay user, I am very familiar with your services and goods. Over time, your sellers and buyers have formed an active and tangiable community presence on the Web. While any community is sure to have varied interests, I’m sure we can all agree that supporting the arts is key to any thinking, thriving society. It is with these thoughts in mind that I ask you to consider naming me the Poet Laureate of eBay.com.
I realize that this is a highly unconventional idea and request, however I believe it has the potential to benefit your organization, your members, and the online literary community at large. As a Poet Laureate for eBay.com, I would not only be able to provide consultation and verse for your use, but also work toward promoting the value of literature and educating the community through poetry. While I have not been writing poetry for long, I feel my work meshes well with the atmosphere and attitude eBay.com presents. I have performed my work live in New York City and published my own chapbook in 2002. More recently my photography and website were featured in a popular literary magazine. My poetry covers a wide range of topics from the serious to the sublime… from the esoteric to the everyday. You can find examples of my work here: http://www.lit-fuse.net/poetry.htm and http://www.lit-fuse.net/tongue.htm I am also skilled in providing poetry on demand for any topic you should be interested in.
I feel that this proposal is worth your consideration and I believe naming a Poet Laureate for your organization would boost community awareness of the importance of literature and poetry online as well as providing a wonderful public relations opportunity. I am able to provide more details upon request — I look forward to hearing from you.
Respectfully yours,
-firecracker-
firecracker@lit-fuse.net
http://www.lit-fuse.net/
Unfortunately, the folks at eBay seem to be cloaked in mystery and specific contact information was unavailable, so in interest of saving some time (and stamps), I submitted my initial inquiry via the Customer Support Webform as a “General Suggestion”. One alarming thing to note is this bit of text that accompanied the form: “I understand that the idea I’m suggesting is non-confidential and non-proprietary.” This could be a problem, but I can’t be deterred by fear. Although I will say if I find out one of their customer service people has taken my idea and become the Poet Laureate of eBay… well let’s just say I will not be happy.
So now we wait… I have no way of knowing what the reply will be, but I’m hoping for more than a form letter. I do have a magic 8-ball — so I’ve asked it “Will I become the Poet Laureate of eBay.com?” Answer: “Reply Hazy, Try Again Later”. Ahhh so fickle are the fates!
In the meantime, I’ve decided to share with you an interesting auction for each entry. Today’s featured auction is NEW BETTY FORD CLINIC HAT… this looks like a hot seller, folks! This is a dutch auction, so there appear to be plenty available. Whether you forgot to grab some souvenirs while you were drying out, or if you just want to impress your friends, family and probation officers — this hat in “outpatient red” is sure to be a hit! After reading this auction’s description, I am realizing just how urgent a need eBay has for a Poet Laureate… each auction is like a poem itself. To up the ante, I’m offering this verse as a companion:
NEW BETTY FORD CLINIC HAT
headaches come frequently
without pills
how did i get here
and why
am i
alone?
my mind throbs
in outpatient red
streaming colors
never named before
but hope still exists
in navy embroidery
announcing me
straight.
ABOUT
what's on, in and around my mind
