Dr. Elmo Shropshire, the master behind such hits as “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” has co-written another dysfunctional holiday song for the season.

The song was co-written by Mill Valley’s Rita Abrams, Dr. Elmo’s longtime collaborator and my significant other. But her work stands on its own merits, I hasten to add. She’s been making entertainment news since her song “Mill Valley” hit No. 5 on the charts in 1970. And I don’t think I’m being prejudiced when I say that the “Martha” song is the best thing she’s written since “Grandma’s Killer Fruitcake” and “Don’t Make Me Play that Grandma Song Again,” not to mention “Have Yourself a Chubby Little Christmas.”

“Christmas Without Martha” takes the point of view of a hapless homemaker who can’t get through the season without Martha’s helpful holiday hints.

A sample verse:

“The holiday is near now/ A nip is in the air/But I am missing someone/And it’s more than I can bear/My little paper Santa keeps falling off his sleigh/My powdered sugar snowballs taste more like little balls of clay/Without your magic touch it’s getting clearer every day/ Christmas isn’t Christmas without Martha.”

I think that just about sums up how we all feel inside right now. Full Story