the metafictional blues

Hey … you know what’s worse than going to the DMV? Going to the DMV twice! (Ba-dum-cha!)

To follow up from my last post, I headed out to the DMV this morning, getting there at 9:30am. Not too shabby and I was able to stop for coffee so I had something to keep me awake during my wait. Our plan was to finish up the license bidness and be back on the road at 11 to head out to the Folklife Festival happening downtown. One problem — my DMV ordeal wasn’t over until 1:45pm. No, I’m not kidding. And I could write out all of the gory details, but really, it was bad enough living through it the first time — and I don’t want to subject you to the same torture. Let’s just say it was the most ridiculous thing EVER. So instead of going to the Folklife Festival, upon our release from our hostage situation we did what any sane person would do. We went to Wendy’s. And then Toys R’ Us. Because I think if you don’t deserve a little treat after 4 hours of waiting in the surreal nightmare of the DMV, then you ain’t never going to deserve one. Mad picked out a Spirograph set to work on in the car as we head out tomorrow (fully licensed until 2014, suckas!) on our road trip to good ol’ Indiana. Anyone else have great Spirograph memories? A good road trip story? Or maybe even a scary tale from the DMV? My birthday’s around the corner, folks, so why don’t you pull up a chair and regale me with your experiences…

(PS: Apparently I have a valid identity now and no, I didn’t have to take the test! But after waiting around that long, I was just happy to see the outside of that building, let alone get my new license!)

Caryn: Trapped at the DMV (via Twitter / Caryn)

"Judge Rebuffs Google’s Request To Extend Oversight of Microsoft" By Sam Diaz

“A U.S. District Court judge yesterday declined to address a petition by Google that asked the government to extend its antitrust oversight of Microsoft.” Hum dee dum…

Google’s Hypocrisy Hits a New High

Synopsis: “The company that helps the Chinese government trample freedom of speech and expression by willingly censoring the search results of Chinese citizens, now wants the U.S. government to treat Internet restrictions around the world as “international trade barriers.”

Uh oh … But Google wouldn’t do something like that… right?

A few months ago I had to go into the DMV to pick up my registration stickers and while I was there, I wanted to renew my driver’s license. Oddly enough, I’ve been hanging on to my (still valid) Indiana license, but it’s soon going to expire as my birthday is just around the corner. It went smoothly enough, as smoothly as you might expect at the DMV, but I ran into a little snag in getting the Virginia license. When they input my information into the computer, my Social Security number didn’t match up with the current information on my license. This is probably because I never officially changed my name with the Social Security people after I got married. Of course this never has been a problem with the IRS, the US Department of Defense or various financial institutions. But I think now that it could be that I’m a terrorist trying to get a Virginia driver’s license, they have to look a little closer at these things. And that’s fine — I’m certainly not complaining. I’m probably a more willing participant in security measures than most. The only problem was that I couldn’t actually get my license transferred because my name didn’t match the number in the system; and they couldn’t change the name on my license because the name on my current license didn’t match the name in the system. Ironically enough, the one way I would have to straighten this out would be to now officially change my name to my married name — even though I’m no longer married. I was beginning to feel like I was a lost soul at the desk of the DMV — my identity caught in some federal matrix or DMV purgatory. The only other thing I could do, advised the clerk at the counter, would be to bring in proof of the name change, such as my old marriage certificate or divorce decree. To me, this is actually all pretty funny — probably more hilarious than it should be. Perhaps you had to be there. Anyway, my ex-husband actually had an extra copy of the certificate in his files, so with that in hand, I’m headed off to the DMV again tomorrow morning to hopefully get my new Virginia driver’s license and become a real identifiable person again.

Then it hit me — what if I have to take the driver’s test again? At my previous visit, they didn’t mention it at all, but maybe we just hadn’t made it to that point in the process yet? According to the Virginia DMV website, to exchange your valid state license for a Virginia version, you may not be required to pass anything other than the vision screening and show proof of ID (ahem). But in that word “may”, lies a whole new realm of possibilities … like me suddenly forgetting the meaning of all traffic signs — or worse yet — having to parallel park on command. With an audience! I shudder to think. This set me on a mission to read up on the Virginia Driver’s Manual and even take their sample online quiz to see how I’d fare. The questions were mostly obvious and simple yet the mere idea of taking an exam sent terror straight into my heart — and sent me into a high school driver’s ed flashback. So I have a tendency to worry about things that will likely turn out just fine … it’s one of my many charms. Perhaps you’d still like to study along with me — just in case.