the metafictional blues

Brought to you in IMasterpiece Theatre format:

Caryn: i think i’ve been stood up by the grocery people
Jamelah: bastards!
Caryn: i will be very upset
Caryn: but they are supposed to be here by 9:30
Jamelah: yeah it’s 9:30
Caryn: wah
Caryn: i feel crushed
Jamelah: is there anyone you can call and kill?
Caryn: damn people
Caryn: i hate people!!!!
Jamelah: me too
Caryn: and now i’m on hold
Jamelah: those bastards
Caryn: i’m still on hold
Caryn: and i’m very pathetic
Caryn: i keep thinking i hear something outside
Caryn: “it’s them!!!”
Caryn: no it’s not!
Caryn: i may get crymad
Jamelah: i think you should get the blowgun
Caryn: hahah ok some guy finally answered
Caryn: and looked up my account and he’s like “ok let’s see … ok your delivery oh boy. let me see what’s going on here”
Caryn: now i’m back on hold
Caryn: i just didn’t want to have to go out and buy milk
Jamelah: damnation
Caryn: oy
Caryn: you know
Caryn: it’s always something
Caryn: apparently
Caryn: and i quote
Caryn: “the delivery guy’s truck broke down earlier in the day, so they had to call out a new truck and that’s pushed them back quite a bit”
Caryn: le sich
Caryn: um
Caryn: le SIGH
Caryn: but “they should be there within a half hour or so”
Caryn: LE SICH
Caryn: god DAMMIT
Caryn: hahahahah
Caryn: is that like german or something????
Caryn: anyway i’m like “erm, ok… but they’re coming tonight, right. because I need my milk in the morning.”
Caryn: and he’s like
Caryn: wait for it
Caryn: le sich.
Caryn: ok no just kidding
Caryn: i think he said “oh definitely, unless you can’t wait”
Caryn: i didn’t press him on what if i CAN’T WAIT
Jamelah: hahaha
Caryn: like i’d timed it out to order my groceries so they’d be delivered at the exact point of starving
Caryn: sadly
Caryn: my confession is this
Caryn: i do have dry milk and i’d totally use that instead of going to the store right now
Caryn: i am on strike!
Caryn: and now i’m back to peering through the blinds in desperation
Jamelah: i hate that stuff
Caryn: which, dry milk?
Caryn: or peering through your blinds in desperation?
Jamelah: dry milk, i mean
Jamelah: peering through the blinds is totally find
Caryn: hah
Jamelah: finE
Jamelah: goddammit
Caryn: and here i was so ready to be in love with them
Caryn: and now they’ve sort of soured it a bit
Caryn: now I”m worried I will start crying when they show up
Jamelah: maybe you should
Jamelah: that’ll show ‘em!
Caryn: can you imagine?
Caryn: “I thought you’d never get here!!!!”
Caryn: ripping into the bags
Caryn: I’m assuming they bring it in bags
Jamelah: what if it’s in boxes?
Caryn: then I will have a problem