Pop Culture

I’m sure I’m the only one who feels this way, but sometimes I’m truly disappointed when that opening riff starts up and it’s not “Ice Ice Baby”. This is probably because my style, much like that of Vanilla Ice, is also like a chemical spill. Corrosive and a threat to wildlife everywhere.

More on that later, but for now … word to your mother.

Ah, pop culture, where would we be without thee?  Curled up in a fetal position in the middle of Wal-Mart, I’m sure … but that’s another story for another time.  As inspiring as he is, Kevin Federline prompted this little conversation on the much-esteemed Blog About Nothing…. which, of course, in turn prompted me to make this important instructional video:

Jamelah has requested, nay demanded, a poem about The Hoff … I can’t seem to say no.

:: hoff 2.0 ::

to acknowledge your
popularity
would be to
succumb to it
believe in it
persuade myself that i don’t find
the dramatic overtures
of your life
offputting
shar pei nudity, the
antipinup you are all
talk
all
talking cars and
slo-mo beach scenes
with a smile
you’re loved in the
motherland and internet renowned(ced)
an embedded loop of
self invention to the extreme
we can’t help but love to hate to love you
even as you
(in as much as the unbelievable
mask of your face is something to believe)
are still in beta.
(cue curtain)

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